Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
