you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
