He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
