So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
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I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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