she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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