how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
