i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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