there's paper in my vomit.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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