i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
