Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
