HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
