She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
