You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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