Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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