dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
