I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
