barbara walters just said penis...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
