I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
