ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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