Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize