Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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