normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
