We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
