Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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