you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
