You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
