Where did you get a picture of my penis
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
