i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
