Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
