How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
