What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
