just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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