shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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