Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
