I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
