I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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