He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
