found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
