woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
jump out the window naked night went bad
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