Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
