I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
