guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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