Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
