I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
