I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
