And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
