I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize