There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This is the high leading the old right now
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
