i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
