i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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