He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
