I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
