Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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