i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
