i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
